


life’s distraction

by apprepuff



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Infidelity, Internalized Homophobia, Kenny is very gay and very bad at emotions, M/M, Pining, Stargazing, THIS HAS BEEN IN THE WORKS SINCE MAY I’M SO SLOW, fluff with plot, listen these two have A Lot of romantic tension and you can’t change my mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-07 13:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20976653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apprepuff/pseuds/apprepuff
Summary: Lee and Kenny chill together. Kenny is lovesick, and Lee is none the wiser.





	life’s distraction

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Always Here to Help](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13685139) by [pugloveryo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pugloveryo/pseuds/pugloveryo). 

> i’m like 90% sure that the title is a hozier lyric but i can’t remember
> 
> anyway this is my Mega OTP so enjoy, i refused to post this until i got over 4k words written

Lee relaxed in the unsteady chair and sighed, letting his shoulders relax and his head fall back. It had been a while since he had taken up the night shift, but he enjoyed it — since there were rarely any threats, he could spend all night stargazing, making up new constellations and reminiscing on everything.

The reason it had been awhile was that taking care of Clementine had taken up most of his time recently, and he wanted to get enough sleep so he could protect her more effectively in the morning. Even with the girl being mostly reserved and never asking for much, it was a lot more stressful than the child-free lifestyle he once lived.

Lee chuckled at the faint memory he had of his old aspiration — to settle down and have a family with his wife. Modern life seemed so far away now — like it had all been a dream, almost, and this is how the world had always been. The dead preying on the living, having to hunt to survive, going days without eating so the group’s children could have food, and calling people you never would have met in the old world your family.

Lee sighed. It was a strange thought, true, but he wasn’t sure if he would go back to the way it had been before if he had the chance, because these people had been overwhelmingly kind to him. His group was small, and quite a mess, but they worked together magnificently.

Clementine was practically his daughter now. Like it or not, her parents were gone, and now she was Lee’s biggest responsibility. The man appreciated how easy Clem was to get along with, and how quickly she had grown to accept him as a father figure, even if she still had her hopes up to find her real parents.

Mark was a bit hyper, but overall very good-natured, loving, and easy to work with — not to mention that his more comfortable, affectionate nature was a nice change of pace from Lee’s typical bond with friends. All he really asked for was to be treated equally, and maybe the occasional hug, and Lee was more than happy to give him that.

Doug was a bit awkward and insecure, which the group had been trying to help him with, but he was very intelligent and always happy to help Lee with anything he needed. He worked better on his own, but had been trying to connect with the other survivors lately, which gave Lee a surge of pride.

Lilly was... well, Lilly. The short-tempered woman could be difficult to get along with, but that only made Lee more persistent in his efforts to form a bond with her, no matter how much Kenny discouraged him from it. Luckily for him, it seemed like she reciprocated — she had been sweeter than usual to him lately. Larry, meanwhile, was indiscernible from Satan, but Lilly made sure to keep the two apart whenever she could, aside from the occasional attempts to get them to work together in hopes to make them hate each other less, like a couple of grouchy cats. Lee wasn’t sure if that was out of concern for his mental state or Larry’s stress rate, but either way, the less he had to interact with the elderly man, the better.

Kenny, oh, dearest Kenny — Lee’s best friend, parenting assistant, and partner for about ninety percent of team efforts. He was quite hot-headed and spiteful, and he and Lilly would fight like dogs day in and day out, but he was fiercely loyal to Lee, especially after all they’d been through together. Kenny made it clear one day after another that he and Lee were a team, and that he had his back — and no matter how many times he said it, it warmed Lee’s heart every time.

_«If this is the price I have to pay to meet all of them, then... I guess I can live like this.»_

The sound of glass smashing startled Lee. He quickly stood up and pulled his gun from his pocket, aiming it in the direction of the noise.

“The fucking hell...??” he mumbled to himself in confusion. Another shatter made him flinch — it sounded like it was coming from the side of the motel.

Lee turned and quickly scanned the front of the motel — no walkers against the fence, good. He strained his ears to hear any growling — luckily, there was none. After confirming that there were no walkers within his field of vision or hearing, he acted against his better judgement and hopped off of the RV to approach the sound, stepping lightly and avoiding pebbles on the ground as to make minimal noise.

What if a walker had gotten in? Or worse, a bandit? What if they were smashing glass to attract walkers to knock down the wall, or to get Lee’s attention so they could pick him off unnoticed? As he crossed the pavement quietly, Lee considered just going back to his post and hoping that whatever was there would go away, but shook his head at himself.

_«Stop being stupid. You’re the night watchman. It’s your job to address any threats, and your fault if anything slips past.»_

Lee pressed his back up against the motel wall, gun in hand, and peeked cautiously around the corner.

There sat none other than Kenny, leaning against the motel wall, green bottles — both empty and full — littered around him like bones in a bear cave, with broken glass in front of him, next to the wooden fence. The drunken man picked up another empty bottle and chucked it against the wood — as would be expected, it shattered loudly. Growling could be heard in the distance, and it was only growing closer the more bottles broken.

“Kenny!” Lee whisper-yelled, venom dripping from his tone like water from a leaky tap. He winced internally, thinking he sounded too harsh, but Kenny was drunk anyway, and drunk Kenny was always happy to see him. As if he’d remember Lee’s specific tone when calling out to him.

The man turned his head, expression changing from surprise to excitement when he saw who it was.

“Lee, buddy!” Kenny called, swinging a corked bottle of what looked like champagne around by the neck. Lee recognized his tone. Great — he _had_ been drinking, _again_. Where did he even get those bottles? The younger man hoped that he at least wasn’t too drunk.

“What’re you doin’ up at this hour? I thought you went to bed early these days,” the drunken man called.

“I’m on night watch. I told you that hours ago. What are _you_ doing up, you have a hunting trip in the morning and it’s, what, three a.m.?”

“Time doesn’t matter,” Kenny slurred. He opened the bottle with his teeth and chugged it, which Lee had to admit was impressive. It was a big bottle. “C’mon, why don’t you sit with me for a bit? You know I always love your company, pal.”

“If you want my company, you’ll have to come sit with me on the RV. I still need to be on watch. And cut that bottle-throwing shit out, you’re literally going to wake the dead.”

Kenny let out a long groan. “Alright, _fine_, have it your way... Gimme a second...”

He got up off of the asphalt, leaving the bottles behind, and trotted over to his friend, who sighed heavily. Kenny was a handful when he was drunk, but at least he was compliant, for the most part. Lee led the older man over to the RV, having to grab his hand at one point to keep him steady, and waited for him to climb the ladder before climbing up himself. Kenny had already sat down cross-legged when he got up, and was staring into the trees.

Lee folded his watchman’s chair and set it aside, as he didn’t want to seem like a jerk for having a chair while Kenny had to sit on the ground, and took his place on his friend’s left, sitting cross-legged as well. He noticed that a few walkers had found their way to the fence since he had left his post — probably attracted to the sound of a middle-aged alcoholic idiot smashing champagne bottles against an oak wood fence.

Lee growled under his breath. “Congrats, Ken, look who showed up to your little party.”

“You can’t have any, dickheads!” Kenny called loudly, drawing the attention of the nearest one, who feebly attempted to claw at the motel’s outer wall. Lee groaned and facepalmed — this man was a moron when he was drunk.

“Alright, asshole, enough yelling at the walkers,” he scolded. “You’ll only attract more.”

“They’ll wander off eventually. And it’s not like they can scratch through brick,” the older man dismissed with a wave of his hand.

“_Stop_, Kenny.”

With a frustrated huff, he stopped. Once again — compliant, but not happy about it.

Lee sighed and turned his attention away from the walkers, instead looking up at the stars. Within seconds, his stress melted away, and the growling of the dead below him sounded less scary, and more like comfortable background noise, like the crickets chirping in the forest.

He admired how they sparkled, wondering if, somewhere else in the world, another survivor in a situation like his was looking up at the exact same stars, sitting atop a car in the parking lot of a shitty motel, next to their drunken best friend.

“Lee?”

Lee looked away from the sky for a moment, instead meeting eyes with Kenny. “Yeah?”

“Oh, nothin’... just looked like you zoned out for a second,” his friend laughed. His face was slightly flushed — from the alcohol, surely. That happened when you drank, right? Lee couldn’t be sure, he had never been one for booze.

“I did. It’s easy to zone out when you’ve got a near-perfect view of the stars. No clouds or anything. Been a while since I saw that.”

“Jeez, you sound like you’re in one of those romance movies my sister-in-law likes,” Kenny mumbled. “And I am _not_ being your love interest.”

“You’ve never been stargazing?”

“I have, just not in a while. And not on a cloudless night, I don’t think.”

“Look up, man. It’s pretty.”

Kenny decided to humour his friend, and looked up. His expression shifted from playful annoyance to adoration within moments. Tiny specks of light, trillions of miles away, dotting the sky in irregular patterns, forming shapes that Kenny traced the outlines of with his eyes.

“Pretty, huh?” A gentle smile settled on Lee’s face as he watched the reflection of the night sky in Kenny’s eyes. He was actually kind of cute when he shut up, in a way that the younger man couldn’t place.

“Yeah... really pretty. I... kinda forgot how nice it is to unwind... without, y’know, all the booze and stuff,” the other added with a small laugh.

“Well, tell me whenever you need a break, and I’ll make an excuse to the others so you can chill for a while,” Lee hummed. “That’s what friends are for.”

Kenny seemed to be at a loss for words for a moment.

“... Yeah. Thanks, pal.”

The two turned their attention back to the stars, although Kenny looked away to look at Lee every so often. The smile he wore was different from his normal one — he looked relaxed. Peaceful. Like there could be a thousand walkers milling about beneath them, and as long as he could stay right where he was, he’d be happy to stay in place and wait patiently until he was rescued.

When Lee finally noticed Kenny looking at him, a shimmer of adoration laced with the reflections of the stars in his eyes, the older man quickly looked away at the front of the motel. Lee chuckled softly.

“Cat got your tongue?”

“No.”

“You were staring, Ken. At me.”

“Was not.”

Lee sighed, smile not faltering. “I’m not playing “was not, was too” with you, Ken. Be honest, is there anything you want to say? Is something bothering you?”

Kenny was silent for a minute, staring off into the forest in front of them. He opened his mouth to speak several times, but closed it when no sounds came out. Finally, he mumbled a response, staring down at the asphalt.

“... No.”

Lee wasn’t fully convinced, but decided to drop it. Whatever it was, Kenny clearly wasn’t ready for him to hear it yet.

“Alright. If you say so.”

* * *

“Catch!”

Lee turned his head and quickly caught a granola bar that was flying towards him. He laughed, not bothering to read the label before pocketing it, playfully glaring at his best friend, who was rummaging through the shelves and stealing everything he could.

“You could’ve hit me in the face!”

“It’s a granola bar, not a brick, chill,” Kenny teased.

Almost three days had passed since they had gone stargazing together. Tonight, the two had snuck off to explore Macon in the middle of the night. Luckily, Mark was on night watch tonight, and had kindly turned a blind eye to his friends’ shenanigans, ignoring Lilly’s rule on not letting anyone leave at night.

The two midnight explorers had found a little out-of-the-way convenience store that seemed damn near untouched by any survivors, and decided to raid it before anyone else could. After killing the walker manager with a bullet hole in his back that was milling around inside as if this was still his job, that is.

“You can eat that if you’re hungry, y’know,” Kenny commented as he swept an entire shelf of stuff into his bag, then leaned down to pick up the items that had missed and hit the floor. “We’re not even on a mission, we’re explorin’, which means we have no obligation to bring shit back. Besides, we’ve got enough to make up for some self-indulgence from this raid alone. Treat yourself, you deserve it.”

Lee thought for a moment, then slowly nodded, taking the bar back out of his pocket and ripping the wrapper open. Chocolate-dipped. Nice. “You’re right. We’ve got enough.”

He took a bite of it, instantly feeling better. He had forgotten how hungry he was. How many days had it been since he’d eaten? Two? Four? Whatever. He hopped up to sit on the counter, contentedly watching Kenny commit mass burglary.

Kenny tossed a few more things to his partner as he emptied the place out, such as a can of orange soda. Lee could tell that his friend thought he was being sneaky when he shook the devil out of it before he threw it over, and the idle man wisely didn’t open the can right away, much to Kenny’s obvious disappointment.

“I’m smarter than that, Kenneth. It’s going to explode, and I’m going to get soda all over my shirt and jacket. And I actually like this jacket.”

“You don’t know that it’ll explode!”

“Yes I do!” He laughed as he said it. Kenny was apparently very dedicated to getting him to open that can.

His friend sighed. “I’ll get you someday, when you’re tired or somethin’. Duck fell for it once, y’know. He cried, and I felt bad, so I bought him some ice cream. Let him get a triple scoop for the first time in his life.”

“Aww,” Lee hummed. “You’re a good dad to that kid, Ken.”

“Thanks. I try my best. He deserves it.”

After clearing out a full aisle into the giant backpack the two had brought along “just in case”, Kenny decided to take a break, hopping up on the counter to sit next to his best friend and dropping his bag on the ground next to him. He sighed and let his shoulders untense, leaning back and supporting himself with his hands.

“Damn. This feels way different from a normal raid.”

“Agreed,” his best friend commented. “No pressure to provide for the group. Just us being petty thieves.”

“Ehh, whatever company this store belongs to probably has enough of everything we stole to last ‘em a few decades,” Kenny chuckled. Lee nodded in agreement as he opened the can of soda, appreciative when it didn’t explode in his face, and took a sip.

Kenny turned to look at Lee while the man’s eyes were off of him. A calming feeling washed over him, as it always did when the two shared a quiet moment. It just seemed to be Lee’s natural aura. He made people feel safe just by being there.

He looked away, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

“You okay?”

Lee put down the soda and wiped his mouth on his sleeve, looking to his friend with curiosity.

“Yeah. I’m fine. I guess I’m just... _relaxed_... for once, I guess.”

“You? Relaxed? That’s a second,” Lee chuckled.

Kenny was confused for a moment, thinking that Lee had quoted the phrase incorrectly, but a light came on in his eyes a moment later, and he laughed, too. “Oh. Right. Stargazing.”

“Yeah,” the other mused. “You looked like you were seeing colour for the first time, man. It was pretty cute.”

Kenny blinked as his cheeks flushed slightly. “... Cute...?”

“You heard what I said, Ken. I like seeing you happy. It makes me happy.”

Kenny turned away, a light blush resting on his face. He wasn’t used to this affectionate tone Lee was using. “Well, the feeling’s mutual,” he mumbled. “I... like seeing you happy, too.”

“Is that why you were staring that night?”

“Oh, shut up!” The older man’s tone was abrasive, but the glint of hostility that was always in his eyes when he was actually angry was absent. Lee laughed, which melted Kenny’s annoyance away, and he involuntarily smiled, laughing a little, too. He quickly realized this, and turned away again.

“Uh, can I ask you somethin’...?”

“Anything you like,” Lee replied, leaning back just as Kenny was.

The words seemed difficult for the older man to speak. He wouldn’t look him in the eyes, instead having his gaze fixated on the floor.

“Do you... think it’s wrong for a guy to like guys...?”

Lee quickly sat up straight again.

What a question. Good thing he had an easy answer.

“No, not at all. I think it’s perfectly natural. Why do you ask...?”

A quick, quiet “Oh, thank God” sounded from his best friend.

“No reason, just curious...”

“That’s not something people just ask out of curiosity.”

“You don’t know what I ask people,” Kenny quickly defended.

“Ken, I’ve known you for about three months, and we’ve been calling each other best friends for most of that. Not to mention, you trust me enough to rant to me about the other people in our group, _people we see and talk to every day_, and I’m pretty much your assigned caretaker when you’re drunk at this point, which means I know probably seventy-five percent of your most well-kept secrets that even Katjaa would never guess. I think I know you pretty well by now, and I’m pretty sure that you can tell _me_, of all people, if you’re questioning your sexuality.”

Fuck. Kenny hadn’t prepared for an argument like that.

He sighed.

“Fine, fine, you got me. I’ve been thinking about it for a few months now, and I’m... ninety-nine percent sure that I... don’t exclusively like women.” Kenny turned away and shut his eyes tightly, preparing for any backlash from his friend.

“As a bisexual man myself, welcome to the club.”

He opened them again. Well, _that_ wasn’t what he was expecting to hear.

“You’re...?”

“Yep,” Lee answered simply. “Been with a few guys in my time, never clicked with any though. Not sure which gender I prefer.”

Kenny laughed awkwardly. “Yeah... me neither. I didn’t know who else to come to with this shit. I mean, I could have gone to Kat, but then she might have thought that I had eyes for someone else, and I don’t want to stir up any theories or insecurities, y’know?”

“Yeah, I get you,” Lee affirmed. “You can always come to me with this stuff.”

Kenny smiled softly, putting a hand on his friend’s upper arm, his heart jumping at the contact. “Thank you, Lee. I mean it.”

“Anytime, Ken,” his friend responded, leaning back again with a comfortable sigh.

Kenny moved his hand to his side and looked at the dusty tile floor. He had always known exactly why he had been questioning his sexuality, and the exact reason was sitting to his left, on the counter of an abandoned convenience store, in a stupid black jacket that made him look hot as fuck, with a can of name-brand soda lifted to his lips.

Kenny had taken a while to accept that he had feelings for Lee. He still couldn’t fully accept it, no matter how fast his heart raced whenever he was even near him, or how much brighter the younger man made the world seem, or how euphoric any affectionate contact with him was, or how physically and emotionally painful it was to restrain himself from just grabbing Lee by the shoulders and kissing him like he was the love of his life.

Kenny had locked away these feelings the entire time he had known the man. He had a wife and son to take care of, he couldn’t spend all of his time pining after his best friend. Not to mention that he had been raised believing that this was bad. His parents preached to him as a child that this wasn’t natural — that men were made for women, and vice versa, and anyone who strayed away from the norm was “corrupted”. When he became an adult, he accepted that that was bullshit, but still had a hard time shaking off the years of conditioning to believe that anyone who wasn’t straight was inherently bad.

But just letting his feelings take over for a moment and letting himself stare and smile like Lee was his world, or fantasizing about him in the comfort and safety of his own thoughts, felt amazing. It felt _better_ than amazing — the feelings Kenny had for Lee were on par with the ones he had for Katjaa. And, although he felt bad about it, despite his marital status, he wouldn’t say no if Lee returned his affections. He was in too deep for that.

And now? Finding out both that Lee wasn’t against this kind of feeling, _and_ that he was actually into men himself?

Kenny’s heart was pounding out of his chest, his thoughts running wild and euphoria blazing through his veins like a lit line of gunpowder as he struggled to look calm. There was a chance. _He had a chance._

* * *

“Walker at three o’clock!”_  
_

Kenny turned on his heel and swung his axe, lodging the blade deep into the monster’s skull. He heard it rasp out a final gurgle of defeat before brain damage killed it. He kicked the corpse back with one leg, the rotting body being jolted off of the blade and hitting the soft grass with a thump as the walker’s smelly blood dripped from the axe.

Taking a moment to steady himself, Kenny held his weapon in both hands, impressed by his own sharp reflexes, and took a moment to catch his breath.

That was close. Too close.

“Nice swing!” Lee praised, hitting his friend on the back with pride. The older man laughed, trying not to blush from the contact.

_«Christ, I really am starved for your attention, aren’t I?»_

“Wouldn’t have landed it if you hadn’t warned me it was coming,” Kenny replied, pushing his thoughts away and internally cringing at how sappy they sounded.

Lee hummed contentedly as a response and looked down at the walker, not moving his hand from his friend’s back. Sympathy glistened in his eyes. The walker looked fresh — there was no doubt that he had been a survivor just like them before his untimely death. “Wonder if he had a family before he died.”

“Well, whether he did or didn’t, he tried to eat me, so now he’s dead,” Kenny muttered.

Four more days had passed since their midnight expedition into Macon. Four days since Kenny had come out to Lee, and Lee had proceeded to come out to Kenny. Four days of simultaneous heaven and hell for the older man, who felt his heart skip a beat when Lee’s hand moved down from his back to his forearm. The feeling of his friend’s hand tracing across his skin made Kenny’s breath hitch, the ghost of the simple contact still lingering on every place he had touched.

“Come on, we should keep going. We need to get water, and I promised Clem I’d find her some flowers today so she could make flower crowns.”

Kenny snapped out of his thoughts. Jesus, what was _wrong_ with him today? “Well aren’t you a softie,” he teased. “You’re parenting that girl right.”

Lee’s eyes lit up at the praise, making his friend smile just that much more. “Why thank you,” the younger man chimed proudly, adjusting his jacket.

Kenny rolled his eyes, but couldn’t shake the smile on his face. “Don’t get cocky because I complimented you _once_, or I’ll just switch to insults like I do with everyone else.”

Lee laughed, but didn’t respond, and just kept walking ahead, playfully swinging around the empty water container that Lilly had given him to fill. Kenny followed in suit, simply dragging his container along behind him, like a normal person.

Kenny took a moment to think. These feelings of his were only becoming more and more prominent. He was about ninety percent sure that Mark had noticed, with that playful glint in his eye that Kenny saw whenever the shorter man teased him about his strange behaviour around Lee. Hell, Mark probably knew from the start.

He was damn lucky that the Demonic Duo hadn’t noticed yet. For all the shit he gave her, Lilly wasn’t stupid. She was extremely intelligent and very intuitive... unlike her father, who was dense as a brick. He wasn’t sure how Lilly would react if she knew, but he just hoped it wouldn’t be negative.

Meanwhile, what Larry lacked in smarts, he made up for in concentrated hatred for everything in existence that wasn’t his daughter. Kenny hadn’t forgotten the homophobic comments he’d made to, ironically, him and Lee. If Larry _ever_ found out Kenny’s secret, he would no doubt either tell everyone, or...

The man shuddered, already feeling the nonexistent pain ripple through his body. He didn’t _ever_ want to know what Lee felt like back when he got knocked to the ground and left for dead by the breathing tank back at the drugstore.

After dodging and killing a few more walkers, the two reached the freshwater lake that the group gathered their water from, and filled up their containers and personal canteens. Lee ended up spilling half of his canteen on himself while trying to take a sip, which made his friend laugh, and the clumsy man couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed.

After the two gathered water, Kenny sat with his back to the lake and watched the trees with disinterest while Lee searched the lakeside for flowers to bring to his surrogate daughter. Well, more like Kenny _pretended_ to watch the trees, but really only glanced at them every thirty seconds or so, and spent the rest of that time watching Lee and letting his heartbeat go as wild as it pleased. His feelings had only gotten worse since he had found out that Lee was into men — he hadn’t expected there to actually be a chance of his stupid little crush being reciprocated.

He still felt bad, though — what about Katjaa, and what about Duck? What if _they_ found out? He would do anything for his family, but the truth was that he felt like a moth being drawn to a bug zapper. Acting on his feelings would feel good in the moment, but would only bring bad things in the end.

But what else could he do? Suffer? He’d done that for months now, and his group was none the wiser.

When Lee eventually found what he considered a reasonable amount of flowers for Clementine to make flower crowns with, Kenny stood up, grabbing the handle of his water container and huffing when it was heavy, even thought he knew it would be, as he’d made this trip probably a hundred times. He dragged it over to the tree line and pushed some of the greenery out of the way, preparing to start the trek back to the motel.

“Ken, we need to talk.”

“Uh-oh.”

“No, not “uh-oh”. Nothing’s wrong. I just need to ask you somethin’.”

Kenny reluctantly dragged his water container back next to the lake, so anyone hiding in the trees couldn’t snatch it while they weren’t looking, and looked over to his friend. Meeting his eyes, he already felt uneasy. Kenny cursed himself internally.

_«Not now, please just let me have one conversation with my friend without these stupid fuckin’ feelings coming up?»_

“Ken, I know something’s off. Something’s been off for a while now, and it’s only been getting worse. You flinch when I touch you, eye contact for too long makes you nervous, you stare at me when you think I don’t see, and you’re always warm to the touch. Are you sick? Is something bothering you? Did something happen to you that I should know?”

Kenny’s expression went completely blank. As if he had been eavesdropping and had just heard that his parents were getting a divorce. Again.

“I...”

Lee sat down on the grass across from his friend, and Kenny sat down, too, still silent. “You don’t have to answer fully. Please just tell me if something’s wrong.”

Kenny looked at the grass. He attempted to say something, but no words came out. He rubbed his neck, laughing nervously. “Kinda putting me on the spot here, Lee...”

His friend didn’t reply, or even react at all. Kenny quickly realized that he wasn’t getting out of this one. A part of him was excited — finally, he could get everything off his chest!

The rest of him was terrified.

“Listen, this is going to sound really odd, so, stick with me... I have a lot of feelings going on for me... right now. Um... about you, in particular.”

Kenny paused to check if Lee had reacted negatively. When he saw curiosity instead of anger or embarrassment, he continued.

“Fuck, man, it’s just... ever since that day on Hershel’s farm, when you kept me company while I tried to fix the truck, I felt like we clicked. I just... felt so _happy_ when you were around. It’s the same feeling I got when I met Kat. For the longest time, I felt terrible. I still do. But it’s just painful for me at this point to keep it to myself. So, if you wanted to know... there you go. I’ve been acting... like that... because I’ve got feelings for you.”

Kenny refused to look his friend in the eye, his gaze locked on the grass and his body stiff with embarrassment. God, this was a horrible idea. He should have just refused to answer. Lee would have understood if he was uncomfortable talking about it, he was sweet like that. Now he ruined everything.

Kenny heard movement, but stayed still, and shut his eyes. When he felt Lee tap his shoulder, he opened them again, and looked up. His friend had an unfamiliar glint in his eyes, and was offering the older man his hand. Curiously, Kenny accepted, and felt a bit of static shock him when their hands met.

Lee tightened his grip on Kenny’s hand before tugging the man to his feet, giving him only a second to regain his balance before leaning forward and pressing his lips against his friend’s, one hand moving to his shoulder while the other held Kenny’s hand. The older man made a muffled noise of surprise before his eyes closed on instinct.

The older man could feel and hear his heart beating wildly, so hard that he thought it might shatter his ribs. His mind was stumbling and racing, and he was the furthest from thinking “straight” that he’d ever been. His face felt hot, and he accepted the kiss, free hand gripping Lee’s upper arm.

For only a few moments, time felt simultaneously frozen and that it was moving at light speed. Kenny felt elated — like everything he had wanted was just given to him on a silver platter. He flinched when Lee’s hand moved to his side, not being used to not being in control of the situation. But he was in no hurry to pull away, and thankfully, neither was Lee.

Eventually, though, the two did need to pull away to catch their breath. Kenny could already tell by the way Lee was smiling at him that he was blushing furiously, but he tried to forget about it for now.

“... Holy shit...” he mumbled.

“How romantic.”

“I mean, uh...” Kenny laughed and tilted his head down in embarrassment, before looking back up again and meeting Lee’s eyes, a dreamy smile on his face. “_Holy shit_.”

“That was... nice,” Lee whispered, adjusting Kenny’s hat so it was on straight again.

“Yeah... it was,” his friend replied, unable to shake the admiring look on his face.

“Been wanting to do that for a while now,” the younger man chuckled. “Damn, I think this is the happiest I’ve ever seen you.”

Kenny chuckled, too. “I wonder why.”

The two stepped back, but hesitated to let go of each other’s hands. They knew they needed both to carry their supplies, though, so they parted.

The older man rubbed his neck again, a little lost for words. “God, I don’t know what to say, after... after that.”

“How about you save your voice for later?”

Kenny’s face burned a darker shade of red, attempting to respond but tripping over his words, and Lee laughed. “I’m kidding, man, I’m kidding. I mean... unless you want that.”

The older man felt like he was going to pass out. “I mean, if you do...?”

“Sure,” his friend purred, bumping his shoulder against Kenny’s before picking up his container, their canteens, and the flowers he had picked for Clementine. “After it gets dark.”

_«Be still, my beating heart...»_ Kenny tried his best to calm his racing thoughts, picking up his water container and axe and saying nothing.

The two left the lake behind, trekking through tall grass and around walker corpses, including the one Kenny had axed earlier, before the man stopped Lee just before they came into view of the motel.

“Listen, Lee.”

His friend stopped walking and turned to face him. “Hm?”

“I feel like a piece of shit for saying this, but... Kat can’t know. She’d be heartbroken, and no one would see me the same. As much as I want to do this with you, Lee, we have to make sure that she and Duck don’t know.”

Lee nodded without hesitation, then smiled at his friend. “It’ll be our little secret. You and me.”

The older man smiled too, turning to start walking again. “Thanks, man. I, uh... I love you.”

A surprised blush settled on Lee’s face. After a moment, he smiled again.

“I love you too, Ken.”

**Author's Note:**

> little do either of them know that katjaa ships it lmao
> 
> hope you enjoyed!! i’m gonna try my best to write more kenlee for y’all <333


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